A Umbra Mother's Day
by Roktoof
Summary: When Akira Kurusu was initiated into Smash, he obviously didn't expect the unusual, like the Umbra Witch whom people say is his mother. But then again, what does he have in mind for her? Oneshot!


Akira "Joker" Kurusu woke up in the morning, in his new room. The sun rose up in his stead and in that time, he was only Akira Kurusu. He then woke up with an energized feeling, but he couldn't seem to move a muscle. Suddenly, a womanly moan was heard, and Akira pulled off the sheets, which revealed a very tall woman with the body that rivals a full grown Amazon, sleeping at his chest. He grabbed his glasses and blushed red. This woman had slept on him, again, it has been like that, days after he was included in the Smash roster. This woman just never bothered to do inappropriate things to him on his sleep, given that she was dressed in a white t-shirt with blue shorts, much like the swimmers he saw in high school.

The woman then woke up, looking at Akira with a warm, motherly smile on her face.

"Morning, darling."

"Morning." Joker replied in a seemingly frightened tone.

Oh God, Joker just shared a bed with Bayonetta.

"What just happened? Why are you in my bed?"

"Oh, dear, I just enjoy being with you since... there's something quite interesting about you."

"And that is?"

"You look quite a lot like me."

The next 3 hours later, Joker came to for breakfast clad in his daily persona, eating toast. And of course, his little "sleeping session" with the Umbra Witch didn't go unnoticed. Yes, there were people peeking at his windows, mostly Sonic, Falco and Marth, the aforementioned trio pretended they didn't see it.

"Oh my God."

"Morning Joker."

The Phantom Thief looked at the source. It was Pit, the little angel of which Joker remembered to have been tormented by Bayonetta.

"Morning." he replied then as Pit walked away, so he looked at about face.

Joker just pretty much noticed when he looked at the calendar that Mario left behind at the table. It was May 12, which was Mother's Day. He kinda felt dread at celebrating it, and also some depression, because he never met his parents. Hell, he was sure of this when he was an orphan. But of course, he heard snickering at him. It came from Princess Peach, Daisy and Palutena.

"Hey Joker. When are you gonna make Mother's Day a great day for Bayo?"

"Yeah, I mean, isn't she your mother?"

"She's not _my _mother!"

What also ticked him was the rumor/joke of him being the son of Bayonetta. It has been spread around him since he reassembled her in a sort of way. Mostly the hair, the complexion, the personalities, their styles, though Joker's was less flexible than Bayonetta's, and the fact that they shared the same personalities. Yep, they obviously thought that Joker and Bayonetta were son and mother because of those facts.

Despite Joker's attempts to deny this, Bayo herself rather enjoyed it's comedic nature, obviously because she's noticed how she's almost alike to him. Yet still, it put up a laugh and a smile on her face, while it irritated Joker at the slightest.

"There's no denying it, you know you wanted to make it special for her."

"Ugh, but how? It's not like I'm just gonna give her a gift."

Peach, Daisy and Palutena huddled to discuss and then faced Joker...

"Well then, we'll make it easy for you..."

"Oh, that boy is so amusing, way more than the angel, Jeanne."

Bayonetta was on the phone to contact her best friend, who was indeed another Umbra Witch, like her.

"Is that so? And what about this chatter I hear about this boy being your child?"

"Hah, nonsense dear. Just the idiots talking blather, as usual."

"I see. So, how are you doing, Cereza? Anything else you could do other than playing about with the angels in that manor?"

"Not much for me, dear, apologies, but the day for me is rather dull."

"So I hear. Oh, I gotta go now, cause Rodin's giving me a job to do, as always."

"Bye dear Jeanne."

The Umbra Witch hanged up the phone and looked up to the window, in boredom. Though there is something that caught her in the eye. There was Joker, hanging out in the woods alone. She thought to herself that he might have a plan for her so she decided to go along, meeting up with him. Surprisingly, what Joker had in plan was what Bayonetta didn't expect.

How did- it was too late when Joker pulled Bayonetta with him and soon they fell down, on the portal to the city where Joker worked up his magic. Both were on a dance floor of some sort and Joker had a rose on his mouth.

"Shall we dance?"

Bayonetta flustered a bit and answered "Gladly."

With the music rising around them, the duo eventually locked hands and danced with immediate grace, the likes of which Bayonetta hasn't even experienced before. They stepped backward, forward, upward and downward.

"Are you enjoying the event, milady?"

Bayonetta chuckled and replied "Of course I do, sweetie."

"Well then."

Joker then began to spin Bayonetta around and around then with firm hands, began to swing her about, sending quite in a squeal of ecstasy and fun, then end by setting her by the back, with a rose still on his mouth.

But that still wasn't the end of Joker's plans for Bayonetta.

After clearing out the money he had earned from treasure robbing, he eventually took the Umbra Witch by the hand, and wore her a new coat, made out of pure eskimo fur, just the way she loved it to be. Another time for that was when Joker spotted shadows that nearly made a whiff on Bayonetta, in which she shot them in retaliation. And by the look of her face really meant that she wasn't happy that her newly refurbished coat was snuck into.

Another was of course, the fun rides that Bayonetta enjoyed, firstly those of one thing that she loved, the Ferris Wheel. Of course Bayonetta loved watching sights from above, mostly from the moon, which she certainly enjoyed so far. And that didn't even dent her "son's" pocket a bit. Of course, the next was taking Bayonetta out on a city-wide train tour around, which she certainly enjoyed the sights so far, so good. If only weren't Bayonetta wasn't too flirty laying down on Joker's lap.

And of course they took breaks fighting their greatest enemies, since neither have bothered them so far. So at night's fall, they retreated to... Akira's room, where Bayonetta once again slept by his side.

"So uhh, how did you like your day so far?"

"Quite amazing, dear!"

Bayonetta sprung up and cuddled with Joker, his head laid against her chest, and her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Ohhh... goodnight?"

"Goodnight indeed... my _son._"

Joker was shocked. Bayonetta called him her son? How was he any related to her? He hardly knew anything about her when he came here and yet still the Umbra Witch acknowledges him as her child.

Surprisingly, Joker gave up and let Bayonetta take him to sleep off for the night.

Because, well, he did give her a Mother's Day.


End file.
